Self-Esteem And The Law of Attraction

Self-Esteem And The Law of Attraction

Suggest someone has issues with self-esteem and you’ll often have an argument on your hands. That’s probably because people feel that problems with their self-esteem are character flaws. But they’re not. Self-esteem issues come from our environment, usually our parents. And parents are only able to give us what they themselves have to give. Let me explain with a personal example.

I began my exploration into self-discovery around a quest for riches. From a young age I decided I wanted wealth. As I started on the road to business I was fairly successful at earning money. But there was something wrong. I found that I could earn money but I didn’t seem to be able to hold on to it for long. This problem led me to an investigation as to the reason. And before long I read a book that said virtually all dysfunctional behavior revolved around a lack of self-esteem.

I remember to this day how angry I was reading that because a lack of self-esteem was just something I did not relate to. I guess that’s because it suggested I’d perhaps done something wrong. But no matter where I turned people in the know kept saying it. So I looked a little closer and was blown away at what I learned.

Products Of Our Environment
We are all products of our environment. We take on the attitudes and beliefs of those around us. For the most part that influence comes from our parents. And I discovered something amazing that related directly to my inability to hold on to money.

Both of my parents were born just as the not so great Depression was getting underway. They were raised in an environment of lack. They were often told there wasn’t enough to go around and that ‘people like us’ didn’t have nice things. And guess what? These were the impressions I picked from parents who had no better advice to offer. In the early days of their marriage my parents struggled. This was my immediate environment as a baby and young boy.

Unconscious Maneuvering
So when I went out on my own and began to earn money, I unconsciously maneuvered myself into a position to let it get away from me. Why? Because that’s what I’d learned, that I wasn’t supposed to have money. I just thought I was experiencing bad luck but it was much more than that.

And since I’d been conditioned from a very young age that there wasn’t enough and people like me didn’t have nice things, I found a way to release the money so as to maintain congruence with my ‘internal’ belief. Powerful stuff.

So what does this have to do with the law of attraction? Everything. The law of attraction says that we attract our dominant thoughts and beliefs. And whether we believe we are or aren’t worthy, that’s what we get.

Unconscious Self-Sabotage
I have a close friend who was the second of two children. Her older sister was three when she arrived on the scene. Life for the second child was a struggle. She never seemed to be able to measure up to her older sister and was treated almost like a second rate citizen rather than the second born.

This woman is pretty, smart, capable, and full of life. She’s also full of misery and despair. Why? Because since she arrived in the world she continually found herself compared to her older sister who, according to mom and dad, was prettier, smarter, and had better prospects for the future. Consequently, sister number two developed an extreme feeling of not being worthy.

And the results she gets in life show it. She has no trouble getting close to good things, but she has an enormous problem holding on to them. When I suggested she had issues with self-esteem that revolved around her upbringing she balked. But I’ve been gently trying to point out some of the similarities I experienced in discovering my own self-esteem issues. And I think she’s beginning to understand.

There is no shame in having flaws in self-esteem. In fact, repairing the flaws comes first with awareness. From there it’s a matter of understanding and consciously eliminating the erroneous beliefs. There are NLP and hypnosis strategies that can speed up the process dramatically. Sometimes I wish I could shout about them from the mountaintops.

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